I receive flat NOs from my parents. Its just so difficult and tiring to communicate with them. I am tired, i really am. Whatever perseverance left has withered away. One day, i will just buy an air ticket to somewhere and just leave a note stating my absence. You don’t want to listen to me, why do I have to listen to you?
Every single NO is like a leash that’s tightening me around the neck, i can’t breathe. I won’t end up like Neil Parry in Dead Poets Society, but i can totally relate to his feelings. Being deprived of doing something that you really want is more than just a slap in the face, its like a wrecking ball, it shatters the soul.
But i can’t blame them though. We were brought up in an entire different generation. Let’s just say i am a Left Wing and they side the other extreme. Two opposing parties can only reach a compromise, never an agreement. A compromise involves both parties losing out in some aspects. Nobody is happy. Nobody.
I was chatting with the head of my directorate over coffee yesterday. She’s really the epitome of foolhardiness in her younger days. Travelling to the Gobi Desert with 2 boys, herding sheeps, staying in a dilapidated Somalian dormitory with 40 plus workers, travelling in a plane that leaked fuel midflight…ALONE and unscathed. I have to admit, Lady Luck is totally beaming upon her!
She was the kind of superwoman who could function without sleep for 36 hours straight and then just nap for a couple of hours before she carries on with her hectic schedule. Was she forced to do so? Nahh. She literally fills her life to the brim with a myraid of activities. Single-handedly teaching 13 classes of adolescents History and at the same time, being the debate coach for two different schools… at my age now. A chronic workaholic in the past who had to learn to take two steps back, to care less about the ‘unimportant’, to finally value the things that really matter most and to learn to strike a balance.
I am not aspiring to be a workaholic, neither will i pack my life with activities. But there is 1 thing that I really want to do - travel. To be a traveller and not a tourist. I absolutely agree with her that travelling puts things in perspective. Someday, i will do that. Someday. Too many constraints now, too many.
Taking risks. A life without risks is not really a life worth living. Life is short.
Young and foolhardy. Why not?
Don’t live like you’re scared of the consequences, live like you have absolutely nothing to lose.
Clicking of keyboards
Eyes strain to make sense of all
the blurry emails
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by